There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize