Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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