How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize