So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
