After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
