you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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