Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Fuck appropriateness.
I wish you could order shots online.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
