Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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