did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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