A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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