There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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