I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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