u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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