hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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