I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
