I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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