what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize