There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
When are your genitals available?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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