Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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