You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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