nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
smell my finger.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
