I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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