just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
