Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i now understand why vodka
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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