have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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