none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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