In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
