I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
