Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
