yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
