3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
