Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
