and she was petting her beer can
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
