You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
