she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
