Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
