I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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