shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
