i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
