Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
