real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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