i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
