Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
sick fucks of a feather flock together
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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