Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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