Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
