return my video game
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
