seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
