So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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