Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
