Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
