Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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