i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize