Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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