the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
