i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
