I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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