Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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