My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
