with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's official drugs can't kill me
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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