somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
