Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
