he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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