so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
