margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
