Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
