): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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